9.12.2004

John Kerry, Lazy Diner-Waiter

Everytime Kerry opens his mouth and spews out something about multilateralism and the war in Iraq, I can't help but think of a really lazy waiter. Kerry is the lazy waiter who doesn't know the house special, maybe a special entree that is somehow different from the normal house variety, but didn't bother to learn what's different about it. Despite not bothering to learn the difference, he is still going to recommend it because somewhere inside of him he thinks that is his job. Kerry's vagueness in interview questions on Iraq ( and as he will surely respond in the debates) are the lazy waiter's responses to questions from me, the happy diner.

This post was going to contain some sample dialogue, but then I decided that everyone knows what a lazy waiter is and will think of it next time Kerry speaks. He just states over and over again that he will do a better job and will not alienate the world. This is great for staying on message, but it's scary because he doesn't have a clue how he is going to kill terrorists. I follow the news fairly well, yet have not heard a concrete policy difference or strategy Kerry would embrace to win the peace in Iraq. Like the lazy waiter, he pushes the concept but is lost on the details. (BTW, feel free to use this simile yourself sometime soon)

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