7.03.2003

TERMINATOR 3: RISE OF THE PROFITS



OK, I have to be honest. I really wasn’t all too excited to see T3. Arnold’s what, 70 now? And a certain sick part of me didn’t want to see it, figuring my protest might convince him to stay out of the recall election.


However, much to my unsuspecting delight, I really enjoyed T3. It had all the values I like in a movie, and all within the first 5 minutes. To open the film you are exposed to a nuclear blast, foreshadowing for the inevitable Judgment Day. You’re then introduced to the new John Connor, and taken through some shots of his life, as he narrates. The best of these shots show him sitting on a bridge, sipping a Budweiser, which he then drops into the wash below. You then go see the introduction of the “Terminatrix,” a very hot Kristanna Loken, who like all Terminators, is beamed back in time naked.


All within the first five minutes, we the audience get nuclear blasts, beer, littering, shameless product placement, and nudity; all the makings of a fine film.


Sad as I am, the most notable part of T3 was the repeated shamelessness of the product placement. The Terminatrix drives a Lexus, Clare Danes, a Toyota Tundra, both of which get mentioned by name. I was half expecting Arnold to comment, while driving the Tundra, “it’s true what they say, the 2003 Toyota Tundra really is rugged but refined.” I’m sure it slipped right past most people, but I wanted to start cheering every time Toyota was plugged.


But it got worse, (or better, depending on your perspective). At one point, while driving a Hearst, fleeing the T-X, Arnold figures a way to ditch the T-X. As she’s clawing on top of the car, he simply drives underneath an oncoming big rig, stripping off the entire top of his car, but ditching the T-X in the process. As the sequence was unfolding, nothing was amiss. But as they cut back to the truck, it was a giant billboard for Xenadrine. Good job boys!


Ya, the Terminator was funny, had some great action sequences, and Arnold did do an above average job. But that all paled in comparison to the massive amounts of money that you know such little snippets made for the producers. A certain part of me gets happy when I know money is being made, and T3 put a big smile on my face.

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