5.18.2003

WHY I HATE MATRIX: RELOADED

OK, so my hatred of this movie has nothing to do with the actual film. And no, I’m not going to give anything away, so don’t worry. But Matrix II pissed me off OH SO BADLY!


First of all, on an actual movie critique front, Matrix II is nothing but a sham. Despite the rad effects, it actually is nothing but a two-hour trailer for Matrix III. Damn them!


But, the main problem in the picture arises from the casting. Or rather the LACK of casting. No, Keanu Reeves didn’t have any classic lines like, “Whoa!” or “I know Kung Fu.” He more or less played it straight.


The problem lied in his co-stars, among them Cornell West and Roy Jones Jr. I mean, C’mon! Cornell West is barely coherent an author, a failure as a rapper, a professor, a philosopher, and as a constructive member of society. So, what do most people do when they fail in all facets of life??? WHY NOT ACT? However, this movie would have been just fine devoid of the politics.


Also, in a little video montage, immediately after footage of Adolph Hitler, the fine directors of Matrix II, thought it appropriate to show clips of President Bush. Again, EARTH TO PRODUCERS: “You stick to movies, I’ll stick to politics!!!”


Martin Sheen got blacklisted for spewing his crap. No self-respecting man will ever again stand listening to the Dixie Chicks. I, for one, say we need to do the same to Matrix III. If they don’t pull all the political references, I ain’t going! You hear that Joel Silver, SCREW YOU!

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